Clean!

“Would you like to take a shower?” asked an angel of a nurse Friday morning. After a week of lying in the hospital bed, recovering from surgery, I’m sure I looked a mess and smelled even worse. Funny, with all I had just been through, I had not really thought about being dirty or getting clean.  But when she asked the question, my spirit leaped inside of me and a great desire rose up in me - a ray of hope.  “Yes, that would be wonderful!” I replied with tears in my eyes from the kindness of this angel-nurse. She left the room to get things ready then returned and began to unhooked my tubes and wrap everything thoroughly so I would not get my incision or any tube wet.  She wheeled me into the oversized shower stall across the hall, adjusted the water, gave me soap and shampoo and then left to allow me some privacy.  I get goose bumps just thinking about it now.  It was almost sacred. As the warm water caressed my scarred and battered body I sat there in the wheelchair overwhelmed with emotions. Oh how I needed this! As the shower continued to wash over and soothe my body, the tears followed. The more the water flowed, washing over me, the more the tears joined in beginning the inside cleansing of emotions that would continue for months. Oh to be clean- refreshed-oh how that cleansing water lifted my spirits.  The angel-nurse was back. I dried off and she wrapped me in a fresh new hospital gown.

Many years earlier, Jesus asked me a similar question. “Do you want to be clean?” 

At the time I don’t really remember feeling particularly dirty (though I was) and wasn’t looking for ways to get clean.  But when I heard Him ask, my spirit leaped inside me and a great desire rose up in me.  “Yes Lord, that would be wonderful”

Cleansed by the blood

The blood of the Lamb

Precious and Holy the Great I AM 

Bids me “Come, and lay it all bare,”

So He can wash over all sin and cares. 

Cleansed – how I feel it!

All sin washed away.

Cleansed- I receive it!

Rejoicing today.

A robe of righteousness

He bestowed upon me

Cleansed and forgiven

Redeemed and set free.

A heaven sent shower that continuously flows

From God’s Holy throne to the earth below.

Come underneath it and be made new

A brand new life is waiting for you.

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 (NKJV)

 

Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;

wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. 

Psalm 51:7 (NIV)

His kindness leads us to repentance.  

(Romans 2:4)

Stronger

I have never felt particularly strong: physically, mentally or emotionally. When I found out I had cancer, I remember not being fearful of the cancer itself.  The diagnosis had taken me totally by surprise, but I knew it hadn’t taken God by surprise.  He knew.  What did make me fearful was that I didn’t feel I had the strength that it would take to get through to the other side of it.  One of the first things I did was got a notebook and started writing scriptures down that I could take to the hospital with me.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phil. 4:13

When I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Cor. 12:10

I have never needed or used those verses more than in the past two years. Each hard, hesitant step of the way, I would remind myself of those words the apostle Paul wrote during his trials and hardships. Many days I felt overwhelmed, but God was there to fill me with His strength and power.

You may feel utterly weak and lack the strength to take the next step.  But take it.  God is with you- holding you up when you feel faint, holding your hand when you feel alone. Nudging you forward when you’d rather retreat.

 

You may feel small compared to the big problem that looms in front of you.  You may feel insignificant compared to the situation you desire to have an impact on. You may feel ill-equipped to handle the task that has been given to you. But all these things are easy for Him.  Let Him take control. He will be:

Strength in your weakness

Courage in your fear

Faith in your doubt

Peace in your storm.

Dear friend, what do you need today? It is all His – at His disposal, ready to hand out if we would just ask.

Isaiah 40:29-31 (NKJV)

He gives power to the weak,

And to those who have no might He increases strength.

Even the youths shall faint and be weary,

And the young men shall utterly fall,

But those who wait on the Lord

Shall renew their strength;

They shall mount up with wings like eagles,

They shall run and not be weary,

They shall walk and not faint.

A snip and a prayer

The Prayer of Faith, the laying on of hands, the working of miracles, I have experienced all of these through my hairdresser Chrissie and her sweet mother Evelyn at whose house my hair gets primped and styled.   I went there in August of 2012, just two days after my first chemo session, feeling totally miserable.  Even though I was praying that I wouldn’t lose my hair, odds said that I would.  I had picked out a shorter style wig from a catalog and asked Chrissie if she could give me a similar cut. Then I could see how I looked with that style before I ordered the wig, and there would be less hair going down the drain if / when it did fall out. 

A snip here, a snip there “Lord we just thank you for a complete healing.  We curse these cancer cells.”  Snip Snip.  “Get all the way down to the root Oh Lord.”  And so it goes- intercession and work, like the men on the wall in Nehemiah.*  Doing the work of rebuilding the wall with one hand and having the sword ready to do battle against those who would oppose them in the other.  Phil is sitting beside me.  He has driven me, since I am still not able to drive yet.   Chrissie encourages us both.  “No charge” she says as she shakes out the sheet covered with hair.   “Come into the living room. Mom and I want to pray for you.”   I take a seat and Phil kneels next to me.  My spirit tries to rise above the pain I am feeling. Oh Lord, thank you for such special friends.  Lord I receive your answers to these prayers. They anoint us both with oil, lay hands on us, and pray for healing.  Pray for us to be witnesses to God’s great mercy.  And they pray some more. I feel sick and yet full of gratefulness and thanksgiving.  A God that hears and answers prayers.  A mother and daughter with Holy Ghost boldness.  A husband who is always by my side.  I am truly blessed.

Is this how to pray without ceasing - as I go about my work each day?

Prayer... automatic, effortless - 

as natural as breathing

Unashamed, Holy Spirit, faith-filled prayer

flowing from my lips as I go about my day.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18(ESV)

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing,  give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

* Nehemiah 4:17

Faithful

The song plays in my head over and over, like His faithfulness: never ending- never ceasing.

Standing on this mountaintop

Looking just how far we’ve come

Knowing that for every step

You were with us

Kneeling on this battle ground

Seeing just how much You’ve done

Knowing every victory

Was Your power in us

Yes! We have made it to the mountaintop! I am done with maintenance chemo and so thankful for God’s healing.  Looking back over this past two years my heart just resonates with these verses from Matt Redman’s song. He has done so much for us and I just want to give Him the glory.

As I look back his faithfulness was so evident.

Jehovah-Nissi-  our banner of encouragement

Jehovah-Jireh – our provider who meets all our needs

Jehovah-Shalom – our peace in every situation

Jehovah-Rohi – our shepherd and guide

Jehovah-Rapha – our healer from every disease

Jehovah-Shammah- our ever-present help- always with us.

I have seen His faithfulness throughout my life, but going thru the cancer battle I came to recognize it so much more. I know I could have never made it through without Him being with me every day- every step of the way.

Never once did we ever walk alone

Never once did You leave us on our own

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Phil was with me as much as he could be. I know he would have been with me every moment – but there were some places he wasn’t allowed. Even though I had to enter some rooms alone, -never once was I truly alone. The Holy Spirit was with me.

When my thoughts would torment me He would speak a word,  when I needed courage He would provide it.  When I thought I couldn’t take anymore He would hold me in His arms and reassure me that He would bring me through. He was always there.

Do you feel alone in your struggle?   Does it seem that no one cares?

God loves you and is with you.  Ask Him to walk beside you.  Take His hand and let Him guide you.  Sit with Him and read His word and He will instruct you.  Praise Him and He will lift heaviness and depression off you.  Tell him you can’t do it and instead let Him do it.  Lean on Him, He will hold you up.

When I look down at my belly I see the scars- not pretty to the physical eye -but to me, a thing of beauty, for they serve to remind me of His great faithfulness!

Scars and struggles on the way

But with joy our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone

Carried by Your constant grace

Held within Your perfect peace

Never once, no, we never walk alone

Never once!  He was and is always there.  Oh praise Him for His faithfulness!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=722zPX1npcA&feature=kp

Deep Roots

I needed to repot my Jade plant.  It had grown too tall for the pot it was in and was leaning terribly- ready to fall over.  As I lifted it out of the soil, I saw the reason for it's off-kilter position.  Although the plant was a foot tall, it's roots were very shallow, barely an inch deep.  It couldn't stay upright and centered with such a small root system to hold it in place.

What a different picture to see the root system of a wild fig tree in South Africa with roots that go 400 feet deep.  Roots going down deep- that’s what I want.

Standing strong for years, though nature’s elements come against it – that is my desire.  Year after year unmoved when erosion and age set in-let this be me.

Oh Lord, I want to be like those majestic trees with roots that go down deep into the rich soil of your word. When strong winds come, let my roots hold firm so my faith won’t be uprooted.  When fear and doubt try to push me over, let my roots spread out even further and take in nourishment from your unending love. 

The righteous will flourish like a palm tree,

they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon;

planted in the house of the Lord,

they will flourish in the courts of our God.

They will still bear fruit in old age,

they will stay fresh and green,

proclaiming, “The Lord is upright;

he is my Rock, and there is no wickedness in him.”

Psalm 92:12-15

When my roots are strong and healthy in the Lord then I will be able to let my branches reach up and spread out so that I can give shade to the weary. As I remain rooted and grounded in Him I will bear fruit to help those in need. 

Thank you Lord for this promise.

His Precious Blood

His precious blood was shed for me

Upon that old and rugged tree

To cleanse my sin, to set me free,

His precious blood was shed for me

His precious blood was spilt for me

Upon that ground on Calvary

To heal my sickness and disease

His precious blood was spilt for me

His precious blood it covers me

I’m marked as His eternally

Sealed forever, I am His

His precious blood it covers me.

When death’s dark angel passes by

He can’t come here, he must Passover

For upon the doorpost of my heart, over every cell, every part

I apply His precious blood

Blood that cover sins

Blood that sets me free

Blood that flows within

Protecting me – Healing me – Cleansing me

The spotless lamb was sacrificed.

Jesus, my Passover Lamb

God’s indescribable gift to us all!

Faith Prayers

You think I would have learned by now.  I’ve been praying wrong again. Worry Prayers instead of Faith Prayers.  “Please God, don’t let this happen” prayers instead of “Thank you” prayers. But I was up for three hours in the middle of the night (again) fretting over a loved one. Praying Worry Prayers

God, you never fret and worry.  You are seated on your throne.  Full of life, love, peace, and joy, you are not pacing back and forth worried about all your children who seem to stray daily off the right path.  How do I get to that same peaceful place that God inhabits when everything seems to be falling apart? 

Philippians 4:6 &7 says - Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

So how do I obtain peace?

Go to God with my request.

Give the situation totally to Him (no take backs).

Quit trying with my puny mind and limited resources to control the outcome.

Trust Him that He will do what is best.

Thank Him that He is more than able to handle anything I give to Him.

Rest in Him for He has it all under control.

Two verses earlier Philippians 4:4 says - Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say rejoice.   

Is this the key- where I should start?  Rejoicing in who God is, in His ability to handle all this?

Oh God, you came to set the captives free.  You said to the dry bones, ”Live!” and they came to life. You opened blind eyes; you can open my love one’s to see the truth. Nothing is too hard for You!

It's hard to stop these anxious thoughts. Fear and worry come more naturally to me than fight and faith. But we are in a battle and the way to win is thru Faith Prayers.

Psalm 68 says - Let God arise and His enemies be scattered.

 Those enemies- fear and worry – will be scattered when I offer up praise and thanksgiving- when I magnify God and His goodness to me. Thanking him before I see any change. 

Faith not fear  

Trust not worry

Faith Prayers not Worry Prayers

God hears all our prayers: prayers of desperation, prayers of anguish, even our worry prayers, but if we get thru those prayers to prayers of faith, that is when God’s peace will come and the battle will be won!